It is commonly believed that dating in Japan is easy for non-Asian (particularly white) men and hard for women.
I came across a blog post by zoomingjapn, a German girl living in Japan, writing about dating in Japan as a foreigner. She writes, ‘It is comparably easy for a western foreign man to find a Japanese woman or to have a nice relationship here in Japan’, but ‘it is extremely tough to find a date as a foreign woman here in Japan.’ Her story is interesting in itself but the most interesting part of the article is the huge number of comments gets – 162 comments (or about 30,000 words! A lot of people who commented actually disagree with her.
In particular, non-Japanese guys tend to disagree because they don’t think it’s easy to date Japanese girls. Overall, does it mean that it’s hard to date Japanese people regardless of your gender? If you are in a foreign country with a completely different culture, it is logical that you might have a hard time dating.
Dating often involves a lot of hidden rules and non-verbal cues.
These are not the kind of thing you learn in your language textbooks.
However, there are many people who are successful at dating in Japan.
Many people provided counter-examples in the comments.
My personal experience also tells me that dating in Japan is completely feasible and a lot of my friends seem to be doing OK with dating here.
Fortunately, thanks to zoomingjapan, I have a good sample of comments on this.
A guy says that it’s very hard for him to have good relationships with Japanese women.
‘My biggest problem is that most girls my age (~25) are very childish’, he points out.
He might be right, but the word ‘childish’ makes me think that his culture might have a different concept of maturity.
Being ‘mature’ in Japan can be seen as ‘childish’ elsewhere and vice versa.